CHANGE
That is my One Little Word for this year. I have done this for the past couple of years and really enjoyed seeing where my word took me. The last couple of years, it took me awhile to come up with my word but this year it came to me very quickly and decisively. I am at a point of change in my life. There are changes that I don't like and changes that I need to make.
First off the changes that I don't like. Our family is changing, and while this is a good thing, it is very hard for me. I love having the boys home. I love having a full, noisy, busy house. But, time marches on and they grow up. Having both Trent and Kalin on missions has been a huge change at home. We are A LOT quieter and a lot calmer. We are relearning how to cook for only 4 1/2 (Ethan doesn't eat much!); our grocery bill is shrinking (this is a very good thing!!). Because Ashton in just 13, we don't have any teenage drivers, no after school jobs, no school dances or ball games to work around. We are still busy, but it's different. It's a change that I am still getting used to. Kalin was such a social butterfly (he would just die if he knew I called him a butterfly!) and he was always going somewhere. There were constant texts about who and where and when and then he would be off. When Trent left, it was hard. He was the first and we had no idea what we were in for! It was even harder when Kalin left. We knew what that MTC drop-off was like. We knew how empty his room would feel. While we love having missionaries out and wouldn't have it any other way, it is still hard. No one ever really talks about how hard it is. Like if you admit that, you somehow don't have a strong enough testimony or something. I miss Trent and Kalin like crazy, but I love what they are doing with their lives. I love that they have chosen to serve the Lord and their fellow men.
Ashton is beginning the teenage years and is an awesome kid, but again it is a change. It won't be long before he is driving, working and leaving on his mission. Brady will be leaving elementary school behind in May. Another change. Ethan will begin Kindergarten. A change I am struggling with almost as much as the missionaries. He is our last, and while I am 100% okay with that and know that our family here on earth is complete, it is hard for me to let him go. I have so enjoyed our little 'caboose' (even when he drives me nuts!) and he is so much fun. I am going to miss him like crazy even though it is only for a couple of hours a day! I think half-day Kindergarten is as much for the moms to adjust as it is for the kids!
These changes are hard, but good. There are also changes that I feel like I need to make personally. Some of these are going to be harder than others!! I need to change how I take care of myself. That needs to become a priority. I need to be healthy. If I am not healthy, I can't be or do the things that my Heavenly Father wants and needs me to do. This is going to be, I think, the hardest change for me to make. To make sure that I am doing all I can to be healthy.. This means changing how we eat, what we do with our time, walking everyday again. Not easy changes but absolutely necessary. I am tired of worrying about my back and my heart arrythmia. It is what it is, and I need to accept it and do all I can to be healthy and happy.
I also want to change spiritually. I am very lazy in this area. I have a very strong testimony and I know without a doubt that Heavenly Father knows and loves me, but I do not study the scriptures like I want to. I have a plan for this, so I am hoping this will be a little easier change for me. I hope to write a little more about this in a week or two!
Change is good, I just don't like it! I am hopeful that by focusing on my word during the entire year, I will come to accept and maybe even embrace change.
That pretty much sums it up for me. Here's to a year of CHANGE!
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